The Road to Recovery

On the Road to Recovery is a better place to be than where I was last year.

It is exactly 12 months since we retired and returned from Paris. With a myelofibrosis diagnosis and frequent blood transfusions, I was facing 2-5 years of gradual decline. Now, after a successful stem cell transplant, I am gradually recovering strength.

My blood is getting better and better. Haemoglobin has been at 117 for the last 3 weeks, and although my other blood counts are down a bit, according to the Prof, this is quite normal. If you remember, my target for Haemoglobin was 120, so I'm practically there. It looks like the Prof was right - with a good stem cell transplant blood production can get back to normal levels, with at least some of the scarring in the bone marrow being healed.

The practical result of all this is that my immune system is stronger (I got COVID last week, but didn't have to go into hospital and recovered in 5 days).

I have more energy and physical stamina. Last week, on Monday, I played 18 holes of golf with Mary for the first time since October. Then another 18 on Wednesday, with the regular Men's Group. My play and concentration were erratic, but I still really enjoyed it - especially the 2 hours chatting in the bar afterwards! I felt life coming back to me. I thrive in the company of others, especially in getting to know new people and their different worlds. I realised what I have been missing since leaving hospital in December - company. Mary and I are the same in this. We have both been feeling withdrawn and lonely, missing the stimulation of other people. So, we are very glad to be getting back into the Golf Club in Frinton, and into the Free Church.

In early June I am joining 5 friends for a golf week in Scotland. All year I have been hoping to be well enough to make the trip again this year, and it looks like this prayer is going to get a yes. God has been good to me, again.

So, the Road to Recovery is GOOD, BUT LONG. I was told this from the outset - 'if your stem cell transplant is completely successful, it will take a year to get back to normal'. On June 4th it will be 6 MONTHS since my transplant. So, that means 6 MONTHS STILL TO GO, which from my point of view feels very slow!

I am at about 80% strength, both physically and mentally. So, I tried jogging on the beach for 2 days in a row (just 6 minutes), and it wiped me out for a whole week afterwards. I have not preached for a year, and really don't feel like it yet. I don't feel ready to stand up in front of people, with my thoughts together and something to say that is worth hearing. I don't feel ready to be pastorally responsible for people, or leading a group. For both of us, being passengers in church for so long is a strange feeling. Part of it is adjusting to retirement and a move; but my illness has made finding a role in retirement more complicated.

We are having to wait, walking through one of those times in life when you don't know where you're going, and you just have to trust that Someone knows where you are and where you are going. It's a time to find peace in just being, and being loved, rather than in achieving. St Paul says, 'I have learned, in any and every circumstance, how to be content ' (letter to the Philippians chapter 4). Help!!

What else is lacking? I still have Graft Versus Host Disease (GVsHD). I have had an ulcerated mouth for 3 months now, so eating is slow and not much fun. Therefore, I am still on steroids, and a high dose of immunosuppressants. Sorry to write exactly the same things, but that's how it is. How long will it last? We don't know. The Prof doesn't know. 'It's as long as a piece of string', he said. He expects that eventually the GVsHD will 'burn itself out'. Please pray that it does, and I will let you know.

I have started my re-Vaccination programme (all my childhood vaccinations were wiped when I had the pre-transplant chemotherapy) which takes 2 years to complete; but the good news is that my Specialist Nurse in charge of Vaccinations says I will be able to travel to California by the Autumn or early next year - and I received my new blue Passport through the post this morning. We can start to think about travel.

What about our long term future? It is hard to see far ahead, but we have decided to stay put in Frinton for now. All the family enjoy the beach, the sea, and our Semi with its Southwest facing garden and patio. It is a great place for them all to come and chill.

I enjoy my Man Shed and office at the bottom of the garden, and Mary enjoys her Summer House (though the kids turn it into a playroom, which is good when it rains!).

It's also great to be near many of our wider family. So, we are going to settle here for a while, and in the Autumn make a few adjustments to the house, to enlarge our tent. That will give us something to do.

So, we live a day at a time, and a year at a time, and we count our blessings.

It is a great blessing to be On the Road to Recovery.